Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Chapter Nine

Here I sit in the happy home playing the good old cornish game of 'Keep an eye on the Weather'. Its a great game and I'm sure you would love to play it.It involves being taken in by the blistering warm sunshine and decent blowy breezes... so that, for brownie points all around, you put the washing on. Seconds before the washing machine finished its cycle it started to rain.
As you can guess that left me with a machine full of washing that needs to be dried. Nothing daunted I found the clothes horse and two little plastic things covered in little dangly pegs...and hung the whole lot up in the kitchen. Ten minutes after sitting back down and trying to think of inspiration in the story line...a great beam of sunlight shot through the window and blinded me.
Groping my way to the kitchen and waiting for the flashes and dazzle in my eyes to stop I saw bright sunlight and blue skies. At a single 'Linda like' bound I was out of the door and sticking the old rotary line up in its hole. I dashed back in and rushed back out with the two plastic peggy thingies and hung them on the line.
I then dashed back into the house and shot back out with the clothes horse and pegged the washing out on the line that was now glowing in the sunshine. Not straight away I admit because I forget the pegs...but one more gallop in and out of the house took care of that.
 The washing fluttered and swung gently in the breeze as I went back indoors satisfied. I took off the wellington boots I'd put on to go out, and realised that every journey in and out of the house had involved me wearing them. The result was a small trail of leaves and pebbles on the carpet.
I hoovered that up and then thought I would keep going. The house is now hoovered from top to bottom and that was when the game started. I noticed it had got very dark; so yes, youv'e guessed it; I started to 'keep an eye on the weather'. So far I am winning but I've been in and out three times already. The clothes have gone in and out more times than a wooden cuckoo in a clock.
"What hours of fun..." I hear you cry.
I have made mention of the old wellington boots and it has reminded me of a little offer we can make to some lucky soul out there. What am I bid for a pair of ladies wellies, size 39 (I think it may be a six in English measures) colour black although a little muddy? One careless owner (Linda) who managed to put a fork through the right one.
Please don't be alarmed, all the blood has been washed off both inside and out, and 'Long John Linda' is getting around just fine these days. She doesn't have a parrot because we couldn't afford one but she has a stuffed seagull she can wear on her shoulder if she wants it.
These boots would suit anyone who only wants the left one...or anyone who wants them both and has no worries about the right one letting in water.
Sealed bids only to our address will result in the winner getting a bargain once the cheque has been cleared.
We had our first visitors find their way to Ruanlanihorne yesterday. All the way from Royal Mail Farnham via sunny Crondall, postman Derek and his young lad Sam arrived. We have open house for any friends coming down this way and it was a delight to have them both turn up. No expense was spared as I pushed the boat out and put the kettle on...several times. Sorry old mate...I forgot the biscuits and Linda told me off later. No need to pull one of my ears off ok...I'VE BEEN TOLD.
It was great having visitors though and we enjoyed a good old chat and gossip about all sorts of things.
We even had a chat about everybody back at the office. It was good to catch up and yes...I have missed the banter more than I ever realised.
Derek also brought down the photos from my leaving meal. Who was the bloke in the tweed waistcoat? Did anybody recognise him?
Thanks for the pictures though Neil, I really appreciate them and they brought a lot of happy memories with them.
As one or two of you may be aware, and I know I cover for it well, I am a bit of a technophobe. In fact its probably fair to say, if something is working...I dont have a clue as to how.
Facebook and the communication highway is a case in point. I can read stuff on facebook, but had no idea how to make a comment back to people if required. Also, when someone is on line and says hello, I don't know how to reply.
And its no use bawling at me that its easy; or its simple; or anybody can do that; or even, "are you a complete numpty or what Mulvin?" Because I still don't know...so yesterday I asked Derek.
I admit Sam looked at me as if I was an idiot but Derek took it in his stride. As he said, and there's more than a grain of truth in it
"Its not Liam's fault Sam. His head is somewhere back in the stone age." and with that he grabbed me by the ear and led me to the computer. I am delighted to say that with a patience I wasn't expecting and no pummelling at all, Derek showed me how to do these things.
"I can only say thankyou old pal as I have now posted my first comment on a facebook page and I am poised ready to chat if someone goes on line. I also say thankyou for not hitting me or squeezing my chin."
It was Derek, completely understanding how mystified I am about cars, who reccommended a mechanic down here for us both, before we even left Farnham. Without his advice, without a doubt, we would have been ripped off as I can be like 'An Innocent Abroad' when it comes to cars.
I remember years ago when buying a car, I was shown the engine. I might as well have been shown an advanced mathematical equation written in hebrew and chinese for all my understanding of it. The only thing I ever thought I knew about car engines was...they are always in the front.
This one incontrovertible fact was all I ever knew until the day, on delivery in West Street, a pretty young lady, in some distress I might add, asked me if I knew anything about engines as her car wouldn't start.
Always eager to help, our hero replied, "Let me have a look for you."
I walked to the front of the car and asked her to open the bonnet and I would take a look. In an unimpressed tone she pointed out that the car was a 'Hillman Imp'. My blank face must have spoken volumes because she followed that intelligence by telling me, "They're like Volkswagen Beetles...the engine's in the boot."
 I didn't like to tell her that I didn't know that either, and as her voice had got a little shrill I thought it best to say nothing. Fortunately at that moment a scruffy looking mechanic type walked past and asked if everything was OK.
I left the young lady and 'Mr Opportunistic' to each other and carried on delivering along the road. A few minutes later she drove by in the now perfectly functioning vehicle and, although I waved, she ignored me. Charming!!
Linda and I were delighted to have our first visitors down here though and we look forward to seeing many more. It was easier saying goodbye this time knowing that we can stay in touch.
Tomorrow we will welcome our second visitors when two of my special customers off my delivery come down here; Jan and Jim from Station Road, Bentley.
As for today, the sun has been continuous now for a couple of hours so I think I have won the game. The washing has dried as I 'kept an eye on the weather'. YAY!!

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